Neh 2.1 And it came to pass ... in the twentieth year of Artaxerxes the king, that wine was before him: and I took up the wine, and gave it unto the king. Now I had not been beforetime sad in his presence. 2 Wherefore the king said unto me, why is thy countenance sad, seeing thou art not sick? This is nothing else but sorrow of heart...
One thing I’ve learnt about changing anything is that desperation and dissatisfaction with status quo that is CRITICAL! You can’t change anything you are willing to live with! If you can live without being married/ a child/ peace/ Money- you most likely won’t have them! I’m not talking about greed, lack of contentment or unchecked ambition. I refer to a holy anger based on your knowledge of God’s will and plan for you that fans your desires. For many years, I wished to be married, but I was comfortable, could meet most of my needs and didn’t really ‘need’ a man. Then I attended a wedding of an ex-toaster and something within me flipped as I realized I didn’t just want marriage, I needed it for where I was going.
I remember crying and saying to God, I don’t care what I have to do ‘in you’ to be married. I know you’ve already created the person, I know you are not at fault; it is me or the man! What do I have to do to make it happen tell me and I’m not going to feel too big, or care what anyone thinks/ says. It took a while but when I met him I understood why I had to rid myself of my high ideas before God could bring him my way. I remember someone I trusted telling me I wasn’t even 40 yet, why was I desperate? Please note, the desperation I speak of is not towards people, its towards God, it’s an attitude that says, God I’m ready& will do anything you ask, I won’t casually wait, I’ll actively seek!
Nigeria, I dare say is the way it is today because we are not collectively desperate for a change, we feel we are making our millions so why should we be bothered? You see, heaven is handicapped when men have options. With Nehemiah the matter touched him so much so, he could no longer be ‘business as usual’, he had never been sad before the king but this matter was such that he could do nothing but be sad!! Friends, if this year will be different you’ll have to get desperate towards heaven, let them know you won’t be side stepped with a promotion, a new car, house... Nothing but what our heart cries for will give us rest !
Lord, help me hold on to you like nothing else matters, cause nothing else matters!!
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